Where Is The Romance?

I wonder sometimes - where is the romance today? You must think it is weird that a week away from my D-Day I should be the one to believe in romance. But sadly I don’t. So then what about love? Well, I believe in love…I think love has survived these times. As the D-day inched closer, I always thought that the romance that once existed would somehow reappear. I remember when we started dating he was so romantic. 

He was the first to tell me the 3 words…and repeat it a million times after…every time assuring me that I could take my time to reciprocate. And I did just that and basked in all the attention. He told me how I was ‘The One’...how I was so woman and just how well we fit. I know we were younger then…it was all new…and we were in love. But the love still exists…the love way more than then. He has been my strength in many situations and I hope I have been the same in his life. But then as I wait for him to call and tell me sweet nothings…or plan a romantic date…or at least spend time with me over the weekend…or try not to meet me for 2 hours in a whole week…I am forced to believe that somewhere down the 3 years the romance ceased to exist. These times are hard to survive…sadly work seems to take most part of our week and many times his weekends as well. Distances are larger…ambitions are higher…and the journey is more a struggle which just manages time for companionship and a little love…but the romance has not survived this journey.

Every time he cancels on me…or changes the plan (which really pisses me off) I am expected to understand, be supportive and just relax. So I do give it a shot…but don’t last more than 2 weeks. He says there is no expiry date for being there for him…and that it is not a barter system that at the end of it I will get something. I wonder how his friends, family, colleagues and everyone else except me would have reacted if they had been stood up so many times and could he have asked them to just be there for him without any expectations without their patience wearing out? This is probably a question for which I will never get an answer…but I still wonder… Every time I complain or as he would put it nag, he tells me that this is the way of life today…that it is impractical for him to plan something after 9 in the night…that I am being immature…and that no one has such a rocking life. And I don’t see how what I am doing is wrong…what is wrong in being impractical, immature and dreaming of a rocking life at times? 

Romance is the result of these ways which most people scorn at… The popular belief is that romance is a girl thing…that begin romantic makes a man more of a wuss, less macho and more hen-pecked. But as we put up with so many of your guy things I think men should entertain some girl things as well and trust me there is a lot of gaining for the men too! To put it simply, men need to realize that all the romance in the first 3 months of a relationship is what makes the woman want to be with them…and if occasionally romance could sneak up the walk down memory lane could be very rewarding!

When Terror Strikes We Need to Strike Back

The attacks in Mumbai on 26th November need no introduction. They made front page news all across the globe...unlike the many many other terror attacks India has more than often been a victim to. Indians have died on trains, in markets, while watching movies, in hospitals, on the road and pretty much any place imaginable. 26th of November was not the first time Indians were attacked, or our security was questioned. Yet, there was something different this time. I think it was the magnitude of the attack...and like on a show Simi said the audacity of the terrorists...the targets chosen...it was not just the aam junta this time. 

Indians have for a change reacted strongly about this event...and questioned their leaders...leaders who said aise bade sheharon mein aise choti baatein hoti hain...leaders who make the visit to the attack sites look like an excursion with an actor son and his director friend tagging along...leaders who at every chance try to divide us based on caste, religion and region...leaders who have security every step of their life...and this security extends to their family as well...leaders who have never been able to unite to fight terrorism... Don't pay your taxes some said...vote for better leaders others said...stay out of this we will deal with it many said...unite at least now Indians asked... 

It has been over a week...and what has happened? Many peace marches have been held in cities across India...something I think became a fad after RDB. Ministers have resigned and been replaced (there are still quarrels with other ministers not happy with the replacements). Speculation of the operations conducted and India's way ahead have been discussed on many news channels by different panelists like Mahesh Bhatt...and basically anyone who is willing to talk. India has blamed terror groups in Pakistan and Pakistan has asked India to get over their Pakistan Obsession. Ms. Rice has flown down to India and Pakistan to help us sort issues. And hopefully today after 60 years of independence and maybe at least 2 decades of terror attacks...most of which are still unsolved with criminals gallivanting all over the world...India has decided to come with an agency like the FBI. Life goes on...hopefully in the direction to achieve something concrete...and to punish people who were involved in terror attacks in India. But when I think about those 3 horrifying days...of all the helpless families and friends of the even more helpless people stuck in the 2 hotels...I wonder...so much loss...for what? This is a war for a cause we don't understand. 

We'd like to believe it is a Muslim thing...but many Muslims don't understand the cause either. And I don't understand what was achieved at the end of this... Couples who went for a quiet dinner at some of the best restaurants in the world lost their spouses...or left their children orphaned...as the GM of Taj helped his guests...his wife must have looked helplessly as she saw the fire engulf her home and knew she would not be able to save her children...and one of the sadder stories of a Muslim home destroyed with all the bread winners dying at the CST... The pathos of these events definitely scarred me...and terrified many Indians. Indians feel unsafe and are scared for the lives of their loved ones. 

The hijack threats that came in within a week of the Mumbai attacks frightened Indians all the more. I believe there were sms's in Bangalore saying malls have received terror attack threats. Many friends of mine think it is better to be safe. So why use domestic flights...why go to malls...why watch movies? There are discussions of war with Pakistan...taking out the terror camps where these men were trained. But I think the most important thing when striking back is to not be afraid...is to not let these groups to make us stop living our lives. We need to be stronger...we need to stop panicking...we need to stop thriving on fear... This attack has to bring more progressive change...and fear is regressive...that is the last thing India wants today. Finally I salute all those brave men who fought the terrorists...and not just the ones from the police or NSG...even the ones trapped, held as hostages...survived or lost their lives. They are all heroes...