My life at every stage has been planned...planning trips, planning dinners out, planning weekends. And I like to do this way ahead of the actual event. So, it is but natural that last year when in August he proposed I started my research and planning for my wedding.
I read articles in Cosmo about best wedding locales in India. Kerela and Goa emerged with many many options...but when I discussed it with ma...she said it didn't make sense. We'd have to pay for every one's travel and stay...and our 'everyone' is a large number. That is when I first realised my wedding was not going to be my ideal wedding.
What is my ideal wedding?!? Well, I always wanted a temple wedding...in a heritage temple...like the ones in Bellur and Hallebidu. I saw these temples when I was 10 years old...and though I deny dreaming about and planning my wedding since then, I think somewhere deep down I saw myself being married there. A traditional wedding...a small number of people...just the close ones...who mattered to me and for whom my wedding was a priority not just curiosity.
To cut down the travel and the trouble people who come from outside Bengaluru have to take I then decided that I will find a place that resembles my picture of my ideal wedding. So the hunt began and I was left with 2 options - Villa Potipatti in Malleshwaram and Ganjam Mantapa in Basavangudi. South Bangalore made sense to us and Ganjam...hmmm...it is a beautiful home...ethnic and so Indian. Unlike many other halls in the city which translate grand to chandeliers, red carpets, AC and all things that according to me are just gaudy. Also, Ganjam accommodates 400 people when compared to Villa Potipatti which has place for just 100...obviously that meant many of my 'everyone' would not have made it to my list.
So in April when my wedding was fixed the first thing I did was call Ganjam Mantapa (yes, I already had their number) and reserve the place for 21st December. Within hours of finalizing the guest list I went ahead and booked Ganjam. This was the only thing I wanted for my wedding. No jewellery, no clothes, nothing plush and fancy....just plain, simple Indian. I remember telling my sister, I will choose my battles. Once I got Ganjam I was willing to give into everything - what I had to wear, number of poojas, number of events. All of it was worth it, because Ganjam made my wedding as close to ideal as possible in Bengaluru.
He loved the place too...we had already made a trip there way back in January and were delighted at the thought of getting married in such a quaint home. It just added so much ground to our marriage. But like I have said before...once the parents get involved you are pretty much left with zilch.
By the day the guest list kept increasing. My parents are very social people and I have liked that about them. But then they never know when to draw the line...so 200 became 250 and then 300. Slowly I was pushing my friends into different events to keep the guest list within 400. The truth that this wedding is ours not yours, just yours to give us is something parents never get. It is always their wedding for them with their kids in it...doing exactly what they want. As you must have guessed...we are no longer saying our vows at Ganjam. Now it will be in a red carpeted, bulb-filled, white walled, air conditioned hall in front of 200 friends and 400 strangers. My parents expect me to be happy with the decision as it was long coming. But the planner that I am I take offense when my plans are run over with least regard to my dreams and feelings. Our parents don't want to hurt their acquaintances by not allowing them to participate in our wedding...but well they are completely willing to consciously bypass our wishes and carry on with their changed agendas expecting us to trod along with enthusiasm as they love us and always want the best for us.
The past two days, we have spoken to each other, tried to see if we could make our parents change their decisions and finally after failing consoled each other. And it is when he was consoling me he said the sweetest thing - I really like Ganjam...I like it even more because you like it. Those words just made me fall in love with him all over again. This man gives me hope - hope that he will stand by me and will never intentionally hurt my feelings or disregard my wishes. And if he ever does, I guess he will at least have the right things to say. So I guess though my wedding isn't ideal or even close to ideal...I am just glad it is with the man I love...because well, even that could have been changed!
What is my ideal wedding?!? Well, I always wanted a temple wedding...in a heritage temple...like the ones in Bellur and Hallebidu. I saw these temples when I was 10 years old...and though I deny dreaming about and planning my wedding since then, I think somewhere deep down I saw myself being married there. A traditional wedding...a small number of people...just the close ones...who mattered to me and for whom my wedding was a priority not just curiosity.
To cut down the travel and the trouble people who come from outside Bengaluru have to take I then decided that I will find a place that resembles my picture of my ideal wedding. So the hunt began and I was left with 2 options - Villa Potipatti in Malleshwaram and Ganjam Mantapa in Basavangudi. South Bangalore made sense to us and Ganjam...hmmm...it is a beautiful home...ethnic and so Indian. Unlike many other halls in the city which translate grand to chandeliers, red carpets, AC and all things that according to me are just gaudy. Also, Ganjam accommodates 400 people when compared to Villa Potipatti which has place for just 100...obviously that meant many of my 'everyone' would not have made it to my list.
So in April when my wedding was fixed the first thing I did was call Ganjam Mantapa (yes, I already had their number) and reserve the place for 21st December. Within hours of finalizing the guest list I went ahead and booked Ganjam. This was the only thing I wanted for my wedding. No jewellery, no clothes, nothing plush and fancy....just plain, simple Indian. I remember telling my sister, I will choose my battles. Once I got Ganjam I was willing to give into everything - what I had to wear, number of poojas, number of events. All of it was worth it, because Ganjam made my wedding as close to ideal as possible in Bengaluru.
He loved the place too...we had already made a trip there way back in January and were delighted at the thought of getting married in such a quaint home. It just added so much ground to our marriage. But like I have said before...once the parents get involved you are pretty much left with zilch.
By the day the guest list kept increasing. My parents are very social people and I have liked that about them. But then they never know when to draw the line...so 200 became 250 and then 300. Slowly I was pushing my friends into different events to keep the guest list within 400. The truth that this wedding is ours not yours, just yours to give us is something parents never get. It is always their wedding for them with their kids in it...doing exactly what they want. As you must have guessed...we are no longer saying our vows at Ganjam. Now it will be in a red carpeted, bulb-filled, white walled, air conditioned hall in front of 200 friends and 400 strangers. My parents expect me to be happy with the decision as it was long coming. But the planner that I am I take offense when my plans are run over with least regard to my dreams and feelings. Our parents don't want to hurt their acquaintances by not allowing them to participate in our wedding...but well they are completely willing to consciously bypass our wishes and carry on with their changed agendas expecting us to trod along with enthusiasm as they love us and always want the best for us.
The past two days, we have spoken to each other, tried to see if we could make our parents change their decisions and finally after failing consoled each other. And it is when he was consoling me he said the sweetest thing - I really like Ganjam...I like it even more because you like it. Those words just made me fall in love with him all over again. This man gives me hope - hope that he will stand by me and will never intentionally hurt my feelings or disregard my wishes. And if he ever does, I guess he will at least have the right things to say. So I guess though my wedding isn't ideal or even close to ideal...I am just glad it is with the man I love...because well, even that could have been changed!
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