To Be Raised a Girl

I remember a friend – a girl friend - once telling me, “You know my parents have raised me like a boy.” The meaning of this statement was that she was raised to be an independent, self-contained and confident individual. This was about 10 years ago.

I questioned her statement then and I question her statement now. Yes, being a ‘boy’ is usually synonymous with the adjectives above…but I feel that the times have changed. Not today; but a long time back.

I come from a home of two daughters. The absence of a male sibling meant that I never had to compete with a brother for freedom. Yes, our home had rules more stringent than at a boy’s home. Our family knew where we were and what time we would be back. But we were brought up in a way where we informed rather than where we were ordered. Do you get the difference?

In the initial years of our adolescence it was all about seeking permission. That lasted till I was about 16 years old. This process slowly then graduated to me informing about my ‘plans for the evening’.

I spent 21 years of my life with family…which is way more than most people do today. I was definitely a part of a secure and safe life. Things were always taken care of. But the first time I left home, moved to a bigger city, started work…I was in charge of my life - from paying the bills to what time I want to get home to getting a maid and ensuring I got a decent meal (which was usually at a cousin’s place). I loved the experience and I am glad to say I didn’t make too many mistakes.

I was raised to be an individual with opinions which I voiced, control over situations so that I never had to call a ‘guy’ for help and a sense of pride of being an independent woman.

Life did throw its share of obstacles where I was considered a PYT. I was not taken seriously; because if you know how to coordinate your clothes you must be dumb! Or if you spoke good English you really had no ‘stuff’. And the worst one; ‘you are rich’ so nothing really matters.

These were unpleasant situations that got my ‘feminist blood’ boiling. I would rant about how the world was so unfair and chauvinistic. But I think with age and maturity you learn to handle these hindrances and I did too with a little wit and lot of action.

I still experience the man and woman divide. Sometimes at work and sometimes at home. But raised as a girl, along with being independent, self-contained and confident, I am aware when the man needs to take the steering wheel and when the man needs to be in control of things and a master of his destiny. It all comes down to me being a juggler (shuttling between independence and damsel in distress) and an illusionist (letting the person see what he wants to)!

With age-old beliefs of the man and woman divide the hurdles are galore. But at the end of it all, I am glad to be raised a girl.

Even Carrie Ends Up Watching Movies on the Couch!

Last night I watched Julie & Julia and it inspired me to try and make blogging a routine - something I have honestly been trying to do for so long. I guess I need a mission or a deadline like Julie!

The inspiration made me log on and check my blog page after ages. And then I decided to change a little of the layout and background. I promise you I explored shades of blue and green. But somehow blog-wise I am just stuck on pink - a little less of it this time though.

I wanted to leave the page after the visual revamp but felt obliged to put down something to mark this day. Yes, there are things that have been running around in my head waiting to be blogged. But I am at work and I really should not be here in the first place.

So I decided to put in a review of a movie. I love movies. I review them regularly on Facebook and a little less regularly on Twitter. So why have I missed this important part of me on my blog page?? Really wonder why?

Sex & the City 2 released in India last week (and like ages ago in the rest of the World) and I was waiting to watch it.

Have I followed all the seasons of SATC on TV? No I have not. Do I score high points on a SATC quiz on Facebook? No I do not. Do I think the characters on the show will help me solve issues in my life wisely? No way! 

I have never understood the flak SATC got for being opposed to feminism and all that. Let's be honest. Most of us women have had our very own SATC moments. Be it love, marriage, work, babies...whatever! And that is why I like the show. Yes as girls and women we do tend to worry silly about things...things which most people disregard as unimportant...things which we ourselves know deep down are trivial.

But at that moment not finding the right pair of shoes for a dress to a party you have been planning to go for like over 2 weeks is a BIG DEAL! SATC is just a show that tells us - Don't worry...here are 4 more women in NYC who worry about issues more trivial than yours. And yes that makes me feel nice about myself!

I have caught most seasons on HBO. I have taken the 'Which SATC Character Are You?' quiz. I watched SATC 1 with my girlfriends wearing heels and carrying a fancy bag. I do it for fun.

And for fun I watched SATC 2.

People told me it is a disappointment...but all I say is that it is like a bad habit. You know it is not good for you but you still do it. SATC 2 is not a fantastic movie...no one expects great cinema from this team. But watching it makes me smile and happy...coz it is all about seeing the 4 girlfriends together again.

But yes I wished SATC 2 somewhere showed the 4 girls accepting age gracefully! Hated Samantha's track in this movie. Portraying aging being so hard to accept just makes it worse for most women out there. I would have really liked to see Samantha accept her age and maybe show us some benefits about that. That would not have hurt! Her desperate attempt to be young looked pathetic!

My favorite scene this time too was with Charolette (last time it was when she waved Mr. Big off with her finger) and Miranda...discussing children. Yes! They have help and yet they whine...but it was a nice scene. Something I can picture myself being in.

Carrie was being an annoying and a nagging wife...I know what she expected is not right. But honestly I have made some of those pointless arguments as well. I guess somewhere we want our lives to be glitzy all the time while we very well know deep down that reality is different. It was consoling to see that after marriage even Carrie ends up with take out, on a couch with a tired husband!

Watch it if you are an SATC fan...and watch it to just refresh your memories. This is not great cinema...it never promised to be...