Lunch Date With Myself

It wouldn't be wrong if I said I am an independent woman. I am completely capable of taking care of things on my own without seeking help from my parents or siblings or a friend or my husband. But I don't really like them to know that I can handle it all...especially the husband. Anyways, before I digress...there is one thing that I just have not been able to do alone - eat in public by myself and more importantly be comfortable with it. Whenever I did it in the past, it was only because it was unavoidable, or I was terribly angry with my now husband, then boyfriend for ditching me or maybe if I was at an airport and had to grab a quick bite before the flight. But in all these situations I have always been extremely uneasy with having a meal alone.

My sister who spent a few years in the US always told me that you can get used to it. But however independent I am I was not inclined to 'getting used to it'! In my head eating by yourself means you don't have friends and everyone in the restaurant is going to stare at you and wonder what is wrong with you. At this point, before you make any judgement I would like to remind you that the name of this blog is Drama Queen.

Moving on. So 4 months back my husband and I moved to Hong Kong to explore better opportunities at work. In the first two months my colleagues took me along with them for lunch everyday. I remember there was a week when both my colleagues were not in office and I had to do lunch on my own. My remedy to deal with that situation was - one, to eat at my desk, two to pester my husband to join me for lunch (Thank God for me, not him, he works close by!) or three to skip it!

At the end of that arduous week, I was so happy to get back to lunch with my colleagues. Phew! No one would think I was a weirdo with no friends. Again, don't judge my extreme emotions (refer name of blog).

But with time I realized that day in and day out lunch with the Hong Kong Chinese is very very hard on an Indian vegetarian soul. My intention of being a vegetarian was challenged in every meal where I know I have eaten some oyster sauce, beef broth and fish sauce...not to mention the extra dollars I had to pay for all the meat they ate and the few leaves I nibbled on. And so I knew I had to start eating on my own if I wanted to have a decent, healthy and filling lunch.

Then began my discovery of the lunch date with myself. Initially, I remember I would just walk around work for sometime depending on my footwear (walk for 5 minutes if heels or for 15 minutes if no heels), then just grab some milk or juice and some biscuits or sandwich at a 7 Eleven and get back to eat at my desk. I slowly graduated from bringing in food to eat at my desk to eating very quick meals (within 20 minutes) at a Starbucks or Pacific Coffee Bean.

None of my lunches made the full use of the 60 minutes I get here. So one day I decided to go to this Italian restaurant where my colleagues had taken me. I went there by 12.30 p.m. so that I was sure to get a seat for lunch. I walked in and was gestured by the waitress, "How many?". As I raised my hand, with just the forefinger out to signal one I think swalapa I died. I ordered a mushroom and tomato pasta and as I waited for it to be served I quickly plugged in my ear plugs and started watching a show on my phone. Despite this crutch to look 'normal', that day I enjoyed my lunch and my break lasted all of 50 minutes.

Over the last month, I have a list of places that serve vegetarian sandwiches (which is my staple diet for lunch here), one place for pasta, one for a veggie burger  (basically grilled veggies, no patty burger) and even a lone Indian restaurant for some Indian tomato soup and palak paneer. I do lunch on my own every day and pester my husband maybe once in 2 weeks to join me for lunch. I have also graduated from desperately staring at my mobile screen to look busy or normal to not looking at a screen and just observing people around and more recently to even reading a book (something I always saw in the movies and thought was cool but was never comfortable doing it).

I guess moving out of your comfort zone (for me it was Bangalore) to new unknown environments (Hong Kong in my case) where basics like food and communication can be a hindrance really makes you discover new things. In my case it is the lunch date with me...which I now look forward to and thoroughly enjoy. 

I am told I maybe still consuming fish sauce and beef broth and other not vegetarian ingredients, but well for now I am an individual with the intent to be vegetarian who believes many many times ignorance is bliss!

Then and Now

Ten years ago, around now I was taking baby steps from being a college kid to graduating and entering the big exciting world. It was the first time I was going to stay without parents, grandparents or a sibling.

The first move was when I did my final year project at HAL, Bangalore. I stayed with a friend in a house 4 days a week and then went back to home base for the remaining 3 days. It was at that time I got a taste of the big city. It was nothing like Carrie Bradshaw in NYC…but well it was my own version. It was then that I tried the club-hopping, it was then that my girlfriends and I gave fake names at one of those clubs, it was then that spending hours at a coffee shop for a non-coffee drinker seemed possible, it was then that I turned 21.

I can safely say that Bangalore became home base for me in 2003; it still is. Mysore became associated with the formative years…when I really didn’t know or get a chance to explore who I am or want to be.

Bangalore let me do that. I got my first job, my first pay check, my kinda first boyfriend, my first pad, my first party with people I did not know, my first date with a guy I hardly knew, my first beach wedding in Goa…well, the list is long. And now that I am older I really need more time to remember all of it…so let me stop. I am sure you get the gist.

That was a start of a fantastic decade. I cannot believe it is that long ago…but well time does fly! In the last ten years that started in Bangalore with me experimenting with life a lot happened.

Pune was the next city I went to. This city did give me my MBA, but the best thing it gave me is my own love story. I met my husband there seven and half years ago. And well then the city also opened my eyes, widened my vision, merged the black and white to a larger grey area and suddenly I was not so much of a halli guggu. The transformation was not immediate, and was not easy…but Pune – or maybe it was Tarun - did make me a more accepting person.

And then I was back to home base now called Bengaluru for my first real job which I quit in 10 days and moved on to the next real job. I was finally working in an agency. No matter how much I crib about the pay and the hours both of which are rather shitty, I must say this – it is only in an agency that you can be yourself, speak your mind, be crazy (you must be if you do all that great work for the people you want to kill) and make great friends for life because all of them drink!

The last five years in Bengaluru have been nothing short of excitingly exhilarating – if that even makes sense! I told my parents I had met a boy, the boy.  And then Tarun got down on one knee at a restaurant and proposed and well we got married. We moved into a well-furnished house as his parents had set it up for us. That is the story in short.

Tarun and I bought our first car, travelled far and wide to Australia, Kerala, Thailand, Singapore, Kashmir, Bhutan and Sikkim to name a few, we made friends, we put on weight and then we hit the gym and lost most of it. We saw a sister’s wedding and a brother’s dream coming true.

We changed jobs.

Mine finally gave me the thrill of marketing and traveling in high heels and an award that took us both on a trip to California. His gave him a tough client, a great bunch of minds to work with, a few stars, respect and growth.

That growth today has put me back at an oddly similar spot. I am now taking baby steps from being at home to creating a home away from home. It is the first time that I am not a 3-hour drive or 3-hour flight away from my parents, grandparents or sibling. It is the first time I need to use Skype to stay in touch with them. It is the first time that the gap between my parents’ visits will give me a chance to miss them.

Tarun and I have moved to Hong Kong. And this time it is a big city but as I am married and have found my Mr. Big, it is not much of a Carrie Bradshaw story. But it is the first time that Tarun and I stayed in a hotel for a whole month, the first time we are working in a foreign country and the first time we are setting up home! We are moving today!!

A few weeks from now I will be 31 and all I am thinking is how exciting is this decade going to be?