Then and Now

Ten years ago, around now I was taking baby steps from being a college kid to graduating and entering the big exciting world. It was the first time I was going to stay without parents, grandparents or a sibling.

The first move was when I did my final year project at HAL, Bangalore. I stayed with a friend in a house 4 days a week and then went back to home base for the remaining 3 days. It was at that time I got a taste of the big city. It was nothing like Carrie Bradshaw in NYC…but well it was my own version. It was then that I tried the club-hopping, it was then that my girlfriends and I gave fake names at one of those clubs, it was then that spending hours at a coffee shop for a non-coffee drinker seemed possible, it was then that I turned 21.

I can safely say that Bangalore became home base for me in 2003; it still is. Mysore became associated with the formative years…when I really didn’t know or get a chance to explore who I am or want to be.

Bangalore let me do that. I got my first job, my first pay check, my kinda first boyfriend, my first pad, my first party with people I did not know, my first date with a guy I hardly knew, my first beach wedding in Goa…well, the list is long. And now that I am older I really need more time to remember all of it…so let me stop. I am sure you get the gist.

That was a start of a fantastic decade. I cannot believe it is that long ago…but well time does fly! In the last ten years that started in Bangalore with me experimenting with life a lot happened.

Pune was the next city I went to. This city did give me my MBA, but the best thing it gave me is my own love story. I met my husband there seven and half years ago. And well then the city also opened my eyes, widened my vision, merged the black and white to a larger grey area and suddenly I was not so much of a halli guggu. The transformation was not immediate, and was not easy…but Pune – or maybe it was Tarun - did make me a more accepting person.

And then I was back to home base now called Bengaluru for my first real job which I quit in 10 days and moved on to the next real job. I was finally working in an agency. No matter how much I crib about the pay and the hours both of which are rather shitty, I must say this – it is only in an agency that you can be yourself, speak your mind, be crazy (you must be if you do all that great work for the people you want to kill) and make great friends for life because all of them drink!

The last five years in Bengaluru have been nothing short of excitingly exhilarating – if that even makes sense! I told my parents I had met a boy, the boy.  And then Tarun got down on one knee at a restaurant and proposed and well we got married. We moved into a well-furnished house as his parents had set it up for us. That is the story in short.

Tarun and I bought our first car, travelled far and wide to Australia, Kerala, Thailand, Singapore, Kashmir, Bhutan and Sikkim to name a few, we made friends, we put on weight and then we hit the gym and lost most of it. We saw a sister’s wedding and a brother’s dream coming true.

We changed jobs.

Mine finally gave me the thrill of marketing and traveling in high heels and an award that took us both on a trip to California. His gave him a tough client, a great bunch of minds to work with, a few stars, respect and growth.

That growth today has put me back at an oddly similar spot. I am now taking baby steps from being at home to creating a home away from home. It is the first time that I am not a 3-hour drive or 3-hour flight away from my parents, grandparents or sibling. It is the first time I need to use Skype to stay in touch with them. It is the first time that the gap between my parents’ visits will give me a chance to miss them.

Tarun and I have moved to Hong Kong. And this time it is a big city but as I am married and have found my Mr. Big, it is not much of a Carrie Bradshaw story. But it is the first time that Tarun and I stayed in a hotel for a whole month, the first time we are working in a foreign country and the first time we are setting up home! We are moving today!!

A few weeks from now I will be 31 and all I am thinking is how exciting is this decade going to be?

Small Things Make a Big Difference

My first trip to Hong Kong was in 1990 when I was 8 years old. Some memories from my visit then are of the Cathay Pacific goody bag my sister and I forgot in our cab, the trip to the Ocean Park, watching lots of Chinese cartoon (as we were young my parents left us in the room with colouring books and T.V. when they went out shopping) and yes the landing strip in the airport right next to the sea.

A little more than 20 years later, I was planning my 2^nd trip to Hong Kong. This time I was going alone…for work…very different from my last trip. I knew about this trip about 3 months back and I initially was super excited about travelling for work outside India. However as the week of my travel came closer, I was more anxious about my meetings and was a little low coz I was going to be on my own for 4 days. And despite my many travels that was the first for me. Something I can check-off my ‘Before I turn 30’ list!

When I got on to the cab to the Bengaluru airport I had the weirdest combination of feelings – anticipation and edginess and somewhere a little nostalgia and fatigue (yes, I was already tired coz thanks to the week in Hong Kong my previous week at work had been quite a lot to juggle). All through my drive to the airport I kept telling myself to catch up sleep and then I’d think of something from my work to my presentation to if I had packed the all the right shoes to start worrying about.

Anyways skipping past all the mundane check-in, security and boarding trivia I’ll get straight to landing in Hong Kong. The landing strip was vaguely familiar, but the airport definitely was not. Neither was the journey in the MTR from the airport to Hong Kong Central. As looked outside the window, the city still looked familiar with the tall buildings and the traffic and the red cabs.

After checking into my room I decided to get some sleep. Honestly I was so drowsy that I just wanted to lay in bed…but I had promised myself that I was going to push myself out of my room every chance I got to get out and explore the city on my own…a first of sorts! And I am proud to say I did just that.

My days were packed with meetings and my team also took me to some really nice restaurants. I went to a Japanese restaurant, a Steak House (where I had the Tomato Mozzarella salad and Alfredo pasta), an Italian restaurant and finally a Chinese restaurant. Being a vegetarian I am sure I didn’t do full justice to the variety of cuisine, but I did enjoy every meal with the limited choice I was offered.

In the evening I went around Hong Kong on my own using the MTR. It was just so easy and simple. I loved the time I spent on my own my first evening in Hong Kong walking all around Causeway Bay exploring Times Square with the really unaffordable brands and I walked around aimlessly I stumbled upon Jardine’s Crescent where I picked up bags. Walking around on my own was fine, but I could not get myself to have a meal on my own. So I made my way back to the hotel after 9.

In all my excitement of going around alone I had not paid attention to the station I needed to get off at and so my first evening I was lost and had to figure my way back to the hotel. I remember asking this guy on the street for directions. He tried explaining to me how far I was from the hotel…but well I really didn’t understand. And just like that he took out an iPad…got on to Google Maps and told me how to get back. By the way that guy was selling Casio watches on the street…I am still wondering how he had that iPad…mmmmm…

26^th November 2010 is the first time I had a meal and a drink on my own at a Hotel Bar. It wasn’t as odd as I had imagined it to be…but yeah I did get a few stares from a bunch of Indian men at another table…and to be honest I put on my cold look and kinda enjoyed their astonishment J

By the last evening the chill in Hong Kong had really got to me. I was all sniffles. But I realised that I had not picked up anything for Tarun yet. Well, the thing is most trips Tarun made he always got me something and all my trips I never picked anything up for him. So I knew that from Hong Kong I just had to get something for him.

I actually left the room around 9 in the night, took the MTR and went to City Plaza in Taikoo…walked a around few shops…picked up something from Bossini and H&M. It was past 10 and I wanted to go to the night market at Temple Street…but that was a few stops away. I still remember walking up and down the Plaza trying to make up my mind.

And then I decided to go. I had to keep the promise I made to me about pushing myself to explore. So I took the long ride all the way to Admiralty. Switched from the blue train to the red and headed up north to Jordan. The thought of being out so late in a new city on my own was really exciting. The choice to be able to have a life after 10 and actually shop and eat out was even more exciting.

So when I got to Temple Street, I walked all the way till the end. Spent time at the shops. Looked at the cheesy souvenirs and had a good laugh. In fact even picked up a magnet for Tarun which has ‘I Love You’ in Chinese on it. As I walked into my room and saw it was past 12 there was a sense of thrill I felt. Yeah I had not had a crazy night, nothing remotely narrate-able happened. Yet, I was so happy at having experienced travel alone.

As I packed my bags to leave Hong Kong, I was less anxious and more joyous. My meetings had gone off well. I had actually spent over 12 hours on my first day without talking to a person (that is the longest Vipasana you can get out of me). I had gotten lost in the city my first night. I had had my first solo dinner and drink. I had worn heels and jacket and walked to work with lots of other work people (this was just super-exciting!!). The trip was filled with small things…maybe some would think they are unimportant…but in every small thing I saw some sense of achievement.

So why are there no pictures you ask? Well, that is the downside of the trip. I lost my camera and I have no memory where I left it. When I realised I had lost it (which was a day after I was in Bengaluru) and was sad that I lost all the snaps from the trip. I was sad that I had nothing to upload on Facebook.

And then I was really really sad…coz that Kodak camera was the first ‘expensive’ thing Tarun and I had purchased. I still remember me asking the salesman at the camera counter in Central (Bund Garden, Pune) a million questions. I had to be sure this camera was good. After all Tarun was paying ten grand for it. That day that time that was BIG amount…

I miss my Kodak camera and I miss the pretty black and pink camera pouch Tarun had picked up for me. Like I said…some small things may seem unimportant…but in every small thing there is a story and there is a memory…and that is what makes all the difference.

The Friends' Circle

I always boasted of a large friends' circle. I was never the kind to have like just two very close friends...you know. I always spoke in double digit numbers when it came to friends. I like knowing a lot of people. And yes I understand the difference between knowing people and actually being friends...

But you know what? Say ten years ago, I knew a lot a people and I had a lot of friends. We all stayed in the same city. Studied pretty much the same course. Had the same extended friends' circle to talk about. It was fun...I look back at that time and my heart goes all aaaawwwww.

I miss that time...coz today my social life is so contrasting to the one I had then.

Today there are demarcations. I have friends, close friends, old friends, work friends and the other people I know...

The other people I know is waaaay larger than what I had ten years back. I guess that's just with the accumulation of time...in a way tells you how old you are!

But the friends and the close friends...is a smaaall number compared to this large universe of people I know today. Very different from how it was ten years ago. And most of these friends and close friends who I carefully collected and treasured over the years, don't live in the same city as me...most of them not even the same country.

Honestly, the distance doesn't hamper our friendship. A huge round of applause for the internet for that...communication is so easy today. So yeah, we are all in touch. But that still doesn't change the fact that today in the city I stay I may have a grand total of three or four close friends...one actually being my sister.

My social life you ask?? Well, pretty non-existent actually. And from what I hear it is the same story with most people today. We are so busy with our jobs, and our chores, and our families...that I think we've forgotten to have a social life. I mean, I sometimes put 'Have a Social Life' on the check-list coz I may forget!

The internet steps in again...this time to help me stay in touch with people I know in the same city...yeah...the same city. I chat with them and I comment on their pictures and their updates. So yeah we are in touch...or rather we are 'connected' and I guess today that counts for being in touch.

Ha! We actually get away easy...don't have to write those letters and buy those stamps and find those post boxes (actually that reminds me  I have not seen a post-box in ages!!). Isn't that great??

Hmmm...not really. Coz I am an internet addict. Yes, I accept that!

But you know yesterday, as another friend left Bengaluru...I was sad. Sad that from having friends like a street away from where I lived...today most of my close friends reside in the state of California. Nope they do not have any particular fascination for the state...just that they are all engineers :-)

Anyways getting back to the point...when I sat down and thought about it...I wished I didn't have to check up on my friends on Facebook...or think if it was the right time to call them coz they are half a day behind us...or have to use emoticons to laugh at their jokes or send them hugs when they are low...

Today...just one of those days...I miss my friends...

The Fastest 25 Days Of My Life

I had heard from friends that you plan and plan for months and your wedding is over in a jiffy. Well, I wish I could say that is untrue...but as the title suggests December through January I went through the fastest 25 days of my life. Though the whole time was exciting, there are some memories that I will treasure and never forget.

• Ma and me running all over Ghandhibazar looking for matching petticoats for our saris and the next day Jayanagar 4th block looking for luggage for my wedding. I finally picked up 2 red Antler trolley bags.
• Me arriving 30 minutes late for my spa appointment at Angsana on their weekly half day. But as I was a bride they made an exception and I got to keep my appointment. The treatment you ask? Heavenly!!
• Varsha and me waiting for over 3 hours to get our blouses, which were quite messed up, from our fake designer's workshop. Yes you read it right! Me the super-duper planner actually believed this girl was a designer. Later I realized all the works she showed me were basically her own clothes which her tailor had worked on!!
• Dinner at HRC with appa, amma, Varsha and Sush - she landed early to help me handle my nerves. She is the bestest!!
• Sush and me running around Jayanagar 4th block this time looking for salwaars for the mehendi and then Taj. After roaming all morning, we finally found the prettiest thing at Fab India 5 minutes away from home!
• The bachelorette party!! Adi, Sush, Varsha and I having a gooood time...trying the corset in the ladies room and then thanks to Sush the crazy dance! Not revealing any more :-) The best part?!? We then went to meet Tarun's family at LoR...but we weren't very drunk...honest!
• The morning of the Naandi I realised that I take lots of time to get ready and that I needed help draping a Kanchivaram sari. In my hurry, I remember not wearing my contacts for the function. Luckily things were not too blurry.
• Despite my ongoing tiff with Tarun I was just sooo delighted to see him 18th morning.
• The four of us (appa, amma, Varsha and me) sitting together to perform the pooja was nice because I seriously have no memory of us ever performing a pooja for that long together. I did get a little teary when appa and amma went round the pyre.
• Sunanda aunty coming all the way from Mysore just for the Naandi. The sweetest gesture...
• Varsha, Sush and my pedicure treatment that afternoon at Bounce and then Tarun ending up at Bounce for his haircut. I was meeting just him I think after more than 15 days. So Sush and Varsha ran away to do some shopping...and Tarun and I spent sometime at Coffee Day on Lavelle...where we had earlier spent time during our internships...memories :-)
• Friday the 19th was a crazy day. Had Vidya the beautician come home...after I was done with that Kinja, Varsha, Sush and I hired a cab and went to Commercial Street to pick up ear rings, bangles for Sush and me. And then we had to rush back home for the mehendi session. Adi, Varsha, Sush and I ordered in pizza and Adi stayed over that night. The next morning I realised that my mehendi was the lightest!
• 20th was my first official day as a bride...with so many people at the lunch at Taj I was super nervous for the first and actually the last time. As Adi, Varsha, Sush and I walked into the lawn I will never forget how beautiful Taj looked. They had surpassed my expectations.
• That night my 2-hour nap with Misha scores high on the memory list.
• Sush and my last night up chatting :) Think we were up till a little after 1 a.m.
• On the whole 21st is a day I will never forget...but what I will treasure is the first time I saw Tarun...I was soooo happy...my eyes welled up...I was getting MARRIED to him!
• I also kept giggling for some reason. Was even asked to stop giggling and be a little more demure by an uncle...hahaha!
• Our room at Taj was just a dream.
• Tarun dancing away all night at our reception at the Manipal County. His best performance was for Jhumma Chumma...yeah he danced to that number.
• But ajji tata on the floor just beat everything else!
• Varsha's outburst...literally too...hehehe!
• Lunch in our room at Taj...and drinks at the Blue Bar with Varsha, Tushar, Sudhanva & Dinkar.
• Visit to the registration office on the 24th. For a minute there I thought appa was going to yell at the officer and we'd never get our marriage registered!
• The 1st family outing on the 25th - Ghajini and later the trip to mysore and the lunch at Metropole on the 26th. Jayashree aunty joined us too.
• Uncle getting emotional as he saw Tarun & me off to the airport to catch our flight to Bali. 
• My first trip outside India with Tarun started with coffee at Harrods.
• Our room at Kayumanis Ubud...was breath-taking...this made Taj look like whatever!
• Our picnic to the Buahan village where we sat in a gazebo overlooking a green valley and heavy showers...this was waaaay more romantic than my dreamy head had ever imagined!
• Dinner in the room on the 31st...I did end with an uneasy tummy that night...but it was probably the most beautiful, intimate and romantic new year's eve I will ever have and the best I had ever had after Tarun entered my life!
• Renting DVDs and watching movies curled up in bed in our room...that was just the best...not the movies...
• The whole day shopping at Kuta and then our visit to HRC. Tarun went insane clicking away on appa's olympus.
• The weekend in Jayanagar before appa left...I was sick but the Varsha, Sudhanva and Tarun worked on the wedding albums and it just looked gorgeous. And tata was over for the weekend so we got to share the Bali snaps with him.
• 6th was the day I will always count as the 1st day I spent with the Menon's. Uncle wasn't around, but aunty, Tarun and I went to place an order for our albums, had lunch at Hong Kong Hustle, went to the dry cleaners and then checked out furniture stores for a chest of drawer. Liked something at Fab India, so ordered that and Tarun and I picked up our first thing for home...a lamp for our room.

• The 1st official lunch at achchamma's on the 7th...I was all dressed in a salwaar with the thali. Oh! Tarun and I picked up a printer cum scanner...maybe this is our first buy as the lamp came by exchanging coupons.

• On the 9th Tarun and I took ma to the hospital as she had a catch in her back. We then collected the albums and were home in time for lunch with aunty before she left for Dubai. It is then that it hit me that I was going to be managing a home with Tarun...

The weeks after have had lots of things happening...and it is already over 2 months. Time flies...and I hope to capture as much as possible by writing about it...and now off to the kitchen I go...to make some puliyogre for dinner.