Wakey! Wakey!

It's 700Hrs...the alarm on my cell goes off. Nowadays it has been set to 'You & Me' by Lifehouse. I open my eyes...look at my blue ceiling...feels nice. I groggily get off my bed...drag myself to the bathroom ...turn on the heater...and then drag myself back to bed. This time I pull my comforter over my head to make sure no light reaches me. It's 730Hrs...my 2nd alarm goes off...'Clocks' by Coldplay plays. I shut it off and starting thinking about getting up after my 3rd alarm to exercise. It's 745Hrs...now my 3rd alarm goes off...again 'Clocks; by Coldplay plays. This time I snooze it. i am still thinking for getting up to exercise. I am serious about exercising...I mean I even downloaded Shilpa's Yoga online. There is also this other book I have on a 20 minute exercise routine...so now which one do I do? The alarm goes off again...it's almost 800Hrs. Great! Now it is late...I can not exercise...I might as well snooze a bit more...at least get some sleep...so that I don't look drained out at work. And also I seem to be getting bags under my eyes now...I think I should sleep more. Beauty Sleep...that's what I need. I wake up with a start...it's 815Hrs. Whoa! I am late for work now. I jump out of bed. The heater has been on way too long now. I make up bed...go to the bathroom...hurriedly brush my teeth...have a bath...I am out in ten minutes. It's 830Hrs. A quick prayer...and then the moisturizing routine. It's 838Hrs. Okies! I just put on something black. Get into a pair of jeans. Rush to the kitchen. Pour myself a glass of cold milk. That's all the breakfast I have time for. It's 850Hrs. Back into my room. Quickly pack my bag for work. House keys. Check. Lip balm. Check. Jacket. Check. MP3 player. Check. It's 855Hrs. I am walking towards the door...digging through my bag for the scooter keys. Darn! I have left that on my bed. Run back to my room. Scooter keys. Check. I am at the door...reach for my cell to check the time. Arrgghhh!! My cell's in the room. Dash to my room. Cell's on the side table...still charging. I unplug it and walk briskly to the door. It's 904Hrs. I call the lift. As it comes up to the 7th floor, I put on my jacket and plug my MP3 player. Get into the lift...look at myself in the mirror. Hair's in place. Check. Feeling good. Check. It's 907Hrs. On my scooter...off to work...and I am thinking - tomorrow I will start exercising...for sure. All I have to do is wake up at 0700Hrs.

Do You Understand?

I was on a low day today. Work and some other stuff just bogging me down. So as the day comes to an end I wait for his call. It is always nice to hear his voice when I am upset...and I want to talk to him...tell him what I am going through...coz I know he'll understand. That's where I made the mistake. He is not a phone kinda guy...but well I know - coz he has told me - that he calls every day as I like talking. But I guess he'd like to keep most phone conversations to a 'hey, how've you been?' or 'how was work?' or just the plain and simple I love you's and I miss you's. The problem is for his questions he expects answers like 'great!', 'not so good' or even better 'I am tired...want to hit the sack'. The last reply means the call is going to end like now. But my responses to his questions are usually detailed - stuff from work and home and all the other things from my usually uneventful day. So he starts listening and then moves over to hearing and then goes on to watch TV with a regular 'hmmm' or 'ok'...you know the neutral responses. Coming to the call today...I was low and I wanted to talk about it...and the nice guy that he is...he let me. And then after venting out...I was like 'Do you understand?'. Now that is something a girl should never ask a guy. The plain fact is girls do not understand guys and vice versa. Last evening I was watching this TV show 'Rules of Engagement'...and there too the wife wants her husband to understand her...but 20 minutes into the show you know that he will never understand her and like the husband says she never understands that he doesn't understand. Now despite all this wisdom...I wonder why do I go back and ask him 'Do you understand?' coz I know the response is always 'I do - you were saying blah blah blah' where he just re-narrates all that I have told him. Yes, I must give that to him...he knows what I am talking about (I have heard men usually have no clue about that either). But there hardly ever is a response, reaction or even better a solution. That is what I always feel. But the truth is there is always a response - 'ok', a reaction - 'cool/cheer up' depending on the whining and a solution - 'ignore it'. However, as a woman I am not satisfied with these. Not coz I didn't get a response, reaction or solution...but just coz I didn't get the response, reaction or solution that I expected. Which basically means...that I already know my problem...what I need to do and how I am going to go about doing it. Yet there is some kind of validation I seek from him...which I never get. The thing is I get the response, reaction and solution I expect from my girlfriends. And we do a great job of figuring things out...largely coz we understand each other and we think alike. Still I hope and I wish that he understands me...says all the right things...and listens to me. Which basically means that I do not understand him...coz him not understanding me is just how it is going to be most of the time. Which means we both may not ever understand each other...yet we decide to spend our lives together...do you understand? I am waiting for the response, reaction and solution...

Revamped

I am not really sure how much revamping my page affects people...but well I am quite thrilled about it. I hope that this enthusiasm translates to more regular posts. It's just that I don't think I am a great writer...or a funny one...or that I have anything important to say. Yet, I'd like to share my thoughts and have people read what I have to say and well maybe have their reactions to it. Plus quite a lot has been happening in my life. I have been working almost a year in a media agency...and I really like my job. My client...well let me not get into that. Simply said I have the same feelings many of us agency types have for the client types. And on the personal front I am getting married in 6 months. Ah! Now you know why I have a lot happening in my life. I met my fiancé when I was studying 3 years ago. We have been dating for almost all of those 3 years minus the initial 3 months. I think we spent most of that time handling our now exes. Dating was a bumpy ride at the start...but when we survived that I knew this was going to have a happy ending. We spoke seriously about marriage a year back...and it was only in April this year that we went ahead and got our parents involved. Surprisingly getting married didn't really seem like a big deal when it was just the 2 of us...but today things are different...verrry different. A wedding I have come to realise is not about the 2 people who from then on will spend their lives together...there are at least 3 generations who jump in and make important decisions about your day! I consider myself lucky as most of my requests have been fulfilled...but yes every request had to be carefully made and arguments in support of the request thoughtfully planned. I have 6 months to go...and from what I have heard it is one helluva ride...and I am guessing that means lots of roller-coastering!

All In A Name

It's been ten days since my first post. In the time that has passed I have been very occupied trying to find a better name for my blog (the one now was a result of a numb brain). With this new name I believe I am communicating a lot about me, my personality, my interests, what I'll blog about, etc etc. So yeah I want to sound funny, intelligent and unique - all at once. Frankly, I think I am all of that (and more). But after a lot of thought and intense analysis (I am not kidding...it has been intense...I have stopped work to chat with friends for their opinions) I came up with zilch. It all began with a friend saying Pa-tee-do Pa-taa-do sounds like give me a husband and get me his address. No no! Not in English...in Hindi. Ah! Now you get it. It struck me too only after his unusual observation. Why I chose this particular set of words (if you want to call it that) I have no idea. And the friend's post made me think that well maybe I should change the name of my blog. I started the search. First, I thought of names with words from French but they sounded pretentious. I then used the thesaurus to make crazy combinations of words like vistas of the bygones (uh...what?!?), blab (that is what I am doing now), mind map (from B-school) and yes many many other duds! Then my friend suggested that I should go with something filmy coz I love Bollywood. I liked the idea. It was me...I love Bollywood...their movies and their music and their stories and their drama. Yeah...made me feel like I was on the right track now. And that is where I have reached. I have some really filmy and extremely corny names shortlisted...all I have to do is decide. Now that may take another ten days. So till then I'll leave you with a thought I read on a bike sticker. Very deep. Here goes. Surf your inner net than the internet - Baba.

Rakhi - The Solution to Many Woes

If we were playing Word Association then Rakhi today would get responses like Sawant or Mika or Botox (kyunki jo bhagawan nahin detha woh doctor de saktha hai). But well...I don't want to talk about the much talked about Rakhi Sawant. Today is Rakshabandhan and we all know what that is so I can skip the details. I don't have brothers. There are cousins...many of them...some I even forget exist...but well I think you know why I am not tying the rakhi to any of them! I did go through this stupid phase in high school...when I was a part of a bunch of girls who thought the boys in class were our brothers (yesss they were butt ugly). So yeah I joined the bandwagon...tied the rakhi...got some cheap nothings...and well once out of high school I lost touch with all my 'bhaiyas'. This festival is supposed to be like the 'moment' a brother and sister share every year...emotions r usually running high...promises are made...blessings and gifts are exchanged. All in all the Indian 'Brother-Sister Day'. But, I wonder has the festival to many lost meaning. I was 13 when I went through the rakhi phase in high school...and yes an honest confession I was stupider than most 13-year olds. Tying rakhi didn't really hold any sentiment or value in my head. Thank God, that changed. Sadly, many Indians still do not see what the rakhi stands for. I have seen girls using rakhi to get rid off boys in love with them, to stop rumours about them and their best 'boy' friend and even for reasons as shallow as 'his gifts are good'!! But all that was in school and college. Today I am 25 and I thought it was the end of me witnessing the rakhi being abused. But seems not. Girls...sorry women still seem to take the rakhi lightly. Today two women at work decided that a senior colleague is their 'bhaiya'. So began the whole drama of the rakhi, the snaps, the hugs...and yes the 'fake emotions'. As the whole 'performance' was put up I wondered...what does the rakhi and rakshabandhan really signify today? Is it how you shun overtures of affection or a quick-fix solution so that hanging out with the opposite sex doesn’t make so many tongues wag or a way to choose your 'bhaiyas' so that the returns are always high?