And When it is Time to Leave...

Today is my last day in Maxus, where I spent over 2 and a half years of my life. My stay here had its share of ups, downs and in betweens. I made great friends, worked with good people and work was enjoyable as well.

Yet a month back I had to make this decision to move on as I realised that I was getting too comfortable with what I was doing. Also, I saw opportunities in jobs which I was always keen on doing; the monetary benefit also helped take this decision.

I have always been the one who takes her decision with her heart. But this time round I think my head was taking the calls all the way.

So yes today my heart is a little heavy, but my head is very clear with what I want for me. I guess it is a sign of growing up.

My time here I will always cherish. And though it is hard change has to be made. It is like ripping off a band-aid. There is a slight burning sensation now...but I am glad that the hard stuff is done with.

I have realised that what I will miss most are the memories and good times I had here...things which are not here today. I have come to understand with time that it is always letting go of familiar places and memories that is the hardest. Like when you leave school, college or a city you've grown in. I feel the same mixed emotion of sadness and excitement today.

As I sign off this is a mail I sent out at work that I want to remember for life.

Subject: My long mail - please be patient

Hi,

A long time back I had heard somewhere - Change is the only constant.

Long time back I did not understand the phrase and I also did not like change. But that is one thing I learnt in Maxus - Change is the only constant.

Be it my team, my boss, my client or their briefs - change was an inevitable part of my 2-year 8-month 15-day stay at Maxus. It was and I think will be the most dynamic work environment that I will work in.

Amidst all this, there were some things that were constant. I'd like to thank the ops team - Ilango, Sivadas, Praveen & Balaji - for having been here all through my stay and constantly helping me with plan implementations, makegoods (Sivadas you were the best!), sponsorships, material deadlines and all of it. My work would not have been half as easy without your help. Sanjay & Kini thanks for helping out with timely estimates and rushed MBA entries!

The team I worked for the longest with was the Britannia team. Asma I want to thank you for teaching me the ways and tricks of the trade. I will always stand by it that you were my teacher! Harpreet you were a super buyer. I know we fought...but you are the best I worked with. Parveen was like a breath of fresh air - so composed so solid. I truly admire that and someday I hope to be like that. But one thing you can learn is to chill out!! The funny guy in the group was definitely Shibu. I remember being apprehensive about you sitting in between HP and me...but well we managed to pull you into our chat sessions very quickly! Honestly Shibu did not resist!! Ranjani was the youngest in the team, eager to learn and sometimes eager to not work as well but a very very affectionate person. Ranj I will surely miss pulling your leg! Venky I think was the quietest member in this team. There is just one question Venky - how did you manage to send that TNS data so quickly?!? It is seriously still a mystery to me!

Naidu! I have told you this before but by being such a great boss you have not prepared any of us to work with normal bosses!! You just raised the bar so high! I truly enjoyed working with you and more so the few long talk sessions we had. Thanks for all the advice, guidance and helping out with work! It was superb working with you.

Two other very important people and fantastic sources of knowledge and entertainment were Praseed & Ratan. It was a thrill to work with them because they made learning fun! Praseed it was really sweet of you to check in on how I was doing. It really meant a lot to me. And Ratan you were the first person who sent me an appreciative mail for my work on Britannia Milk Bikis radio plan. Trust me, as a fresher it was BIG boost!

Vishy your one-liners and solutions to our silly problems always kept a smile on our faces. Some of them I will never forget! Thanks for that!

Post Britannia I moved to group 2.

Harish and Vimal helped me with the transition from presentations and briefs about the brands to anecdotes about the client! Initially I thought they were just being funny, but soon I realised that these were true stories! KK joined me in this adventure a few months late and I think he has got a good of hang of the clients after 25 meetings for Arrow's spring summer collection and Flying Machine's youth presentation! KK you have some refreshing ideas and I wish you success in implementing them! And yes if I open something up in Mysore I will contact you!!

Working with new buyers was fun. Victor I thank you for being patient and always smiling despite my ignorance in the print medium. You truly helped me with it! Ginka it was great to have Flying Machine on TV last year and also managing the Hum Honge Kamyaab video this year!! Good luck with Arrow on TV! Finally my oldest neighbour Kishan...I will never forget the time you cleaned up your desk...hahaha!! Maybe I can use the break to learn Malayalam from the book you gifted me.

Dina, Brad, Srikanth, Agniv and Anisha I admire the way you work. You have always had data and plans ready for me despite short notice. Thanks so much for that.

Post Britannia I was also a small part of the digital team.

My first interaction with Sai was during Mbrace where he was my team mentor. I remember us sleeping at 6 in the morning as we had sat up all night to make the ppt and Sai had been with us all through! His dedication actually scared me! I am glad I got a chance to work with you though it was brief. Sai thanks for taking time out to help me get around digital media. I will miss blogging with you. Chandrakant thanks for the session on Google search and Abhilash thanks for the forwards I used in the blog.

People who make administration work fun! Meena thanks for all the help regarding leave (especially during my wedding). I think I must have bothered you with things you were not even responsible for but you always helped! Suresh thanks for being the one-stop for dealing with all financial formalities. Murali I will truly miss coming down and chatting up with you either to collect my sodexo or other allowances. It was always a pleasure to meet you on Thursdays! Vijay & Vasant thanks for all the IT support which is so crucial in our work.

Titan team...you guys always made me jealous! You always had the 'award winning' ideas!! I remember how in Britannia we used to struggle to come up with entries and you guys just had so many!! I wish the spell continues and this year is an enriching award year for you guys!

Sanchi, we didn't really work much together. I will keep in mind your pointers and I wish you all the best in taking Maxus Bangalore higher!

Maxus has been a great halt. The biggest gift I got from Maxus are my friends - some are still with Maxus and some like Swati, Adi and Push are not. But these are relationships that I truly cherish.

Thank you one and all for being a part of such an important phase in my life.

And like I said - Change is the only constant - and it is time for me to make a change. Today is my last day in Maxus.

Cheers!

A Mother All Over Again

Ajji was a young mother at 19 - not considered young back then in the 50’s. Amma was her first born, premature and by most of the stories I have heard ugly. Ajji tells me that once a friend came to visit them, saw their baby and said, “You make such a handsome couple, and I expected your baby to be beautiful!” Ajji says that it did hurt, but well my baby was not good looking.

Things didn’t remain this way long. Amma grew up to be a beautiful girl and a centre of affection for many men. In 1975, amma fell in love and five years later my parents wed and moved to Muscat. Ajji had not expected the distance to be so far and I’ve heard stories of amma and ajji bawling their eyes out as amma left to being her journey as a married woman.

Amma was a mother at 23. Ajji was a grandmother at 42.

As a kid, I adored ajji – she was my most favorite person in the world. Leaving her in Mysore was the hardest thing at the end of every summer vacation. I guess that is why in the summer of 94 it was not a hard decision to make when I decided to stay on in Mysore and pursue my studies staying with ajji and thatha.

It was difficult not to be with appa, amma and Varsha. I mean I was only 12 years old. But the change was made easier as I was going to live with ajji and thatha.

I recall some of my friends saying how do you live with your grandparents? Are they cool to live with? And I always wondered how can you not live with them? Thatha is a Physics professor. He is a progressive thinker and not once did I feel a generation gap. Ajji is less educated, but I think this was not a handicap thanks to thatha.

Ajji was my mother through my most formative years – from 12 to 21. In no way am I disregarding thatha’s contribution in these years; he was my companion for classic English movies and the masala Hindi movies; he took me out to eat pizza – back then it was available in just one restaurant in Mysore; he guided me with my studies and discussed literature with me. He had a big hand in shaping a part of the woman I have grown up to be.

But, ajji became a mother all over again at 54.

She listened to my stories through school and then college. She relentlessly watched cookery shows on Udaya TV to make me something special – sometimes successful, sometimes not. She pampered me with gifts for festivals. She narrated stories of the Tamil movie she had watched on Sun TV. She guided me through my various ‘girl-issues’ during adolescence.

I remember this one time; she was on her way to her brother’s house. It was on my way to college. I offered to drop her, but ajji was conscious of her weight and refused. But I insisted anyways, “Ajji, I will take you safely don’t worry. You never sit with me on my Scooty.”

So she sat on my Scooty for the first time. I was extra careful. Balancing ajji was hard. But I managed. I managed most of the way, till someone from the cross road hit my bike and just like that ajji was off her seat. I remember rushing to her, seeing her holding her arm wincing in pain and then almost getting violent with the rash rider. But I did not. Ajji needed me. I rushed to the hospital. Her face cringed every time the auto went into a ditch and every time my heart ached.

After the X-rays and ECGs and some other tests, the doctors told us that her bones in her arm had broken and needed to be put in place through a surgery. I felt tremendous guilt for putting ajji through this. Post surgery, ajji could not lift weights, needed help to bathe, put on her clothes. It hurt me to see her in that situation. I blamed myself.

I don’t remember sitting down with ajji, saying how sorry I was, how guilty I felt. I could not express what I felt in words and ajji…I think she knew how I felt. Ajji recovered over 6 months. It took time. I remember amma coming down to help out.

I moved out of Mysore after college to work in Bangalore. Ajji would make it a point to call me on the land line at ten every night to ensure I was at home. This later changed to alternate days and slowly to once or twice a week.

It’s been 7 years since I moved out. But even today she is my help line when it comes to cooking, matters of the household and so many other things. I probably will never get a chance to say this to her, but I thank her for becoming a mother again, for guiding me, for hugging me when I missed my parents, for sitting up with me to watch TV serials (which we’d later discuss).

Ajji is still my most favorite person in the world.

Sense & Sensibilities

This blog I warn you has one intention - blowing steam.

Last month it was announced that the account I work for was calling for a Pitch (for the laymen - a Pitch is just a fancy word people from the advertising and creative fraternity like to use instead of a drab phrase like tender submission). This was unexpected for me...at my level...coz with the top management 'protecting' you; you hardly ever have the real picture.

I work on a big client (big = big monies & big as*****s). They want every paisa of theirs to be worth at least a few thousand rupees...I hope you get my drift. I've never quite been fond of my client...and don't really think that my affection for them is going to change as I have been feeling the same way for 21 months now. In fact I was also planning to do something different and not work for the biggies.

Anyways, the announcement of the Pitch just made me feel really angry with my client. Coz I had been putting in my best and I know for a fact that my counterparts were doing their best too. I had also heard that my rather anal client had appreciated our work...something I really didn't publicize as well my client is anal! So then where had we gone wrong? Why was all the work I had put in for the last 21 months being questioned? And why didn't I have a clue about the Pitch?

I didn't know the answers to these questions...and well my higher ups didn't really think it was high time to stop 'protecting' us and maybe for a change tell us the facts.

Going on, with a Pitch one always had the right to not Pitch. Considering our work was being questioned openly and obviously the client wanted better I didn't see the point of trying to win this business back. But at my level...my opinions really do not matter. So the decisions were made and we asked to jump on board to fight to keep the Biggies with us. We had a rather fake inspirational speech about having fire in our bellies and about handling our anal client actually being a prestige for all of us...a prestige worth sacrificing sleep, eating nutritious food, holidays, weekends...basically our lives for 20 whole days.

We were given the 'option' of opting out...but you know it was one of those options...where there actually is only one option!

So yes I kind of trudged along with the team...with no fire in my belly but a small spark under my ass (which with time would rage into a fire)...and went along and sacrificed my first family vacation with my folks after my wedding...a 5-day long weekend with my husband who was busy all of March...my first Vishu for which I had picked out my sari like a month back...and yes lots of couch time and love time with my husband.

We started work on 30-March and with every passing day the team working on the pitch grew from 6 to 8 to 13 to 15 to 18...and the hours we put in on an average was 12 hours...all through the week. We've been working 13 days now and somehow with just a day for the pre-read (tender) to be submitted we still seem to have a lot of work...that requires my counterparts and me to just hang around in office waiting upon the bosses to seek inspiration from our rather tired sleep deprived faces to find some more new work.

But slowly with each passing day I realised that this pitch was not the fault of my level...but the fault of the 'protectors'. Their biggest mess up is that they did not keep us informed of the situation. There was no warning, no preparation time...which I am sure they had plenty of. The last two months we were being continuously reminded by our 'protectors' to be proactive with information to the client. This according to be is probably the smallest issue our big client has with us.

There had to be bigger issues - the existence of which I am aware of but the details I am not. My intelligence tells me that my 'protectors' failed to address the bigger issues...trying to stress us out on the smaller ones...to manoeuvre the client into believing we were taking the efforts. But what I have come to understand is that they got caught with the micro and forgot about the macro. And courtesy them not doing their management properly our anal client just got more anal and called for the Pitch.

Now why for the fault of 'protectors' do I have to doubt my capabilities...be forced to think about having a job on hand...be sacrificing my life outside work trying to work hard and fight for something I don't care about? The answer is not money...coz honestly I don't get much of that.

I think the answer is the lack of sense and sensibilities.

The guys in charge mess up. Their biggest account calls for the pitch. Before a plan is put up or even communicated to the team...a bunch of other minds are brought down from the other offices to add fresh thinking...which translates into lots of ideas flying all over the place and no direction...which then percolates into a bunch of juniors running around like headless chickens trying to deliver work to their more than one bosses...lots of data...lots of excel...lots of work hours...lots of rework hours...lots of people slowly making their way out of work...lots of frustration...lots of chaos...and still directionless.

It is this crazy need to work unplanned long hours...and look enthusiastic about something your heart is not into...which makes me wonder why don't sensible people exist anymore?

We are in the business of Planning and Communication (I love this line) and yet we could use a lot of lessons on planning and communicating. Today is a Sunday, and I am at work...and yet I have time to blog...which means I don't work...and I am here just for the count...count of people who don't have their priorities right...count of inefficient people...count of more work hours going waste.

All this effort we are putting in today...had the 'protectors' been proactive with the client...got the bunch of other minds down from the other offices to add fresh thinking...used their senses to understand their environment and competition...been sensible in handling the woes of the big client...would I not have been at The Serai in Chikmagluru today?

Best Wife in a Supporting Role

It is the awards' season...so for the lack of creativity I am choosing to go with cliches for my title.

I am a Drama Queen. And I enjoy all the drama in my life...I create most of it and other times I encourage it. Life for me has truly been a stage...things that happen to me are acts of my life...my life being this huge play where I am the central character...the heroine. It is hilarious when I write it down in words like this...but though this may be a wee bit exaggerated...I do look at my life like this. An interesting story I will tell my kids and their kids.

Now marriage is a crucial turn in my 'play'...which I was sure would have many many 'acts' which would be difficult and testing. Honestly, when I took this decison I didn't know what I was completely getting into...I don't think anyone knows. It is something one can not contemplae, plan or predict. So if anyone says I know what I am getting to - it is a lie!

Marriage I have to come to see is constitution whose requirements are quite dynamic...ever changing always demanding. Now whatever I say, I am must confess will be biased. I am a wife and anything I feel or say is a wife's view.

Going on...as the days pass I have come to realise that this 'chapter' in my 'play' forces me to give up my favorite central charater and move quickly and quietly to the side. Quickly as this change is expected as soon as the chapter starts and quietly as no one really wants to hear you crib that you have lost the importance. You know so what if you are a playing a supporting role - you are important for the play and bring so much to it!

Having lived most of my life putting my interest before anyone elses and having parents who have always kept me happy, I must confess that after one ceremony to suddenly put everyone's happiness or requirements before yours and not minding if things happening are not making you happy does not come easily...definitely not for me.

Giving up the lead is probably going to be the hardest part of this chapter for me. And even harder will be doing it quietly...by handling the situation within myself.

I call ma and she says he is a yelle nimbekai understand...like I am a pro at this! My girlfriends say keep quiet now...talk to him later...he is the guy you are the girl...accept that. Men are always like this...don't let him know you are feeling hurt. Talk to him when you are calm. Ma says we have all been through it...men will always get nervous that marriage is changing them and they will try hard to prove it to everyone that it has not.

The general opinion is...yes Drama Queen you are dealing with a man with a very crazy work life...it is hard...and yes he is not giving you time...but you have to be supportive...explain what you are going through...but understand what he is going through.

In so many many words everyone is hinting that I should move to the back seat. Be the friend who can cheer him up when he is low (if he chooses to talk to you about it). Be the person who understands that despite marriage he needs space...you may have plans for 'us'...but accept it when he chooses to do something else. Be the calm wife if thanks to friends or family he chooses to ignore you the entire weekend...as it 'His' time. Be the adjusting and smiling daughter-in-law...even when your heart is heavy...

The past 4 weekends he has worked every weekend. I have run around town alone...to get away from the loneliness. This loneliness stings more as it comes after marriage a step you take for a lifetime of companionship. Today this is the biggest problem in my life...and the man who promised to take care of me on the 21st of December goes around turing his back on me...chatting late into the night with family but snoring away as soon as we get into our room...choosing not to talk about what I am going through as I have not bothered to understand and accept his work life...and he still expects me to be smiling and ever social in front of his family who is visiting us this weekend.

And as he doesn't feel this...I am going to say it myself. Despite this tough switch in roles that I am going through I am sure I have done full justice to my daughter-in-law duties.

I hope that someday soon he realises that we live together...avoiding conversations...ignoring issues...putting things off with a hug or a baby face will not get us anywhere better. Yes I am the woman...yes I have to be understanding...yes I have to be supportive. But he is the man...and he is responsible for me...he has to take care of my needs...and I hope he can understand that and support me.

The Fastest 25 Days Of My Life

I had heard from friends that you plan and plan for months and your wedding is over in a jiffy. Well, I wish I could say that is untrue...but as the title suggests December through January I went through the fastest 25 days of my life. Though the whole time was exciting, there are some memories that I will treasure and never forget.

• Ma and me running all over Ghandhibazar looking for matching petticoats for our saris and the next day Jayanagar 4th block looking for luggage for my wedding. I finally picked up 2 red Antler trolley bags.
• Me arriving 30 minutes late for my spa appointment at Angsana on their weekly half day. But as I was a bride they made an exception and I got to keep my appointment. The treatment you ask? Heavenly!!
• Varsha and me waiting for over 3 hours to get our blouses, which were quite messed up, from our fake designer's workshop. Yes you read it right! Me the super-duper planner actually believed this girl was a designer. Later I realized all the works she showed me were basically her own clothes which her tailor had worked on!!
• Dinner at HRC with appa, amma, Varsha and Sush - she landed early to help me handle my nerves. She is the bestest!!
• Sush and me running around Jayanagar 4th block this time looking for salwaars for the mehendi and then Taj. After roaming all morning, we finally found the prettiest thing at Fab India 5 minutes away from home!
• The bachelorette party!! Adi, Sush, Varsha and I having a gooood time...trying the corset in the ladies room and then thanks to Sush the crazy dance! Not revealing any more :-) The best part?!? We then went to meet Tarun's family at LoR...but we weren't very drunk...honest!
• The morning of the Naandi I realised that I take lots of time to get ready and that I needed help draping a Kanchivaram sari. In my hurry, I remember not wearing my contacts for the function. Luckily things were not too blurry.
• Despite my ongoing tiff with Tarun I was just sooo delighted to see him 18th morning.
• The four of us (appa, amma, Varsha and me) sitting together to perform the pooja was nice because I seriously have no memory of us ever performing a pooja for that long together. I did get a little teary when appa and amma went round the pyre.
• Sunanda aunty coming all the way from Mysore just for the Naandi. The sweetest gesture...
• Varsha, Sush and my pedicure treatment that afternoon at Bounce and then Tarun ending up at Bounce for his haircut. I was meeting just him I think after more than 15 days. So Sush and Varsha ran away to do some shopping...and Tarun and I spent sometime at Coffee Day on Lavelle...where we had earlier spent time during our internships...memories :-)
• Friday the 19th was a crazy day. Had Vidya the beautician come home...after I was done with that Kinja, Varsha, Sush and I hired a cab and went to Commercial Street to pick up ear rings, bangles for Sush and me. And then we had to rush back home for the mehendi session. Adi, Varsha, Sush and I ordered in pizza and Adi stayed over that night. The next morning I realised that my mehendi was the lightest!
• 20th was my first official day as a bride...with so many people at the lunch at Taj I was super nervous for the first and actually the last time. As Adi, Varsha, Sush and I walked into the lawn I will never forget how beautiful Taj looked. They had surpassed my expectations.
• That night my 2-hour nap with Misha scores high on the memory list.
• Sush and my last night up chatting :) Think we were up till a little after 1 a.m.
• On the whole 21st is a day I will never forget...but what I will treasure is the first time I saw Tarun...I was soooo happy...my eyes welled up...I was getting MARRIED to him!
• I also kept giggling for some reason. Was even asked to stop giggling and be a little more demure by an uncle...hahaha!
• Our room at Taj was just a dream.
• Tarun dancing away all night at our reception at the Manipal County. His best performance was for Jhumma Chumma...yeah he danced to that number.
• But ajji tata on the floor just beat everything else!
• Varsha's outburst...literally too...hehehe!
• Lunch in our room at Taj...and drinks at the Blue Bar with Varsha, Tushar, Sudhanva & Dinkar.
• Visit to the registration office on the 24th. For a minute there I thought appa was going to yell at the officer and we'd never get our marriage registered!
• The 1st family outing on the 25th - Ghajini and later the trip to mysore and the lunch at Metropole on the 26th. Jayashree aunty joined us too.
• Uncle getting emotional as he saw Tarun & me off to the airport to catch our flight to Bali. 
• My first trip outside India with Tarun started with coffee at Harrods.
• Our room at Kayumanis Ubud...was breath-taking...this made Taj look like whatever!
• Our picnic to the Buahan village where we sat in a gazebo overlooking a green valley and heavy showers...this was waaaay more romantic than my dreamy head had ever imagined!
• Dinner in the room on the 31st...I did end with an uneasy tummy that night...but it was probably the most beautiful, intimate and romantic new year's eve I will ever have and the best I had ever had after Tarun entered my life!
• Renting DVDs and watching movies curled up in bed in our room...that was just the best...not the movies...
• The whole day shopping at Kuta and then our visit to HRC. Tarun went insane clicking away on appa's olympus.
• The weekend in Jayanagar before appa left...I was sick but the Varsha, Sudhanva and Tarun worked on the wedding albums and it just looked gorgeous. And tata was over for the weekend so we got to share the Bali snaps with him.
• 6th was the day I will always count as the 1st day I spent with the Menon's. Uncle wasn't around, but aunty, Tarun and I went to place an order for our albums, had lunch at Hong Kong Hustle, went to the dry cleaners and then checked out furniture stores for a chest of drawer. Liked something at Fab India, so ordered that and Tarun and I picked up our first thing for home...a lamp for our room.

• The 1st official lunch at achchamma's on the 7th...I was all dressed in a salwaar with the thali. Oh! Tarun and I picked up a printer cum scanner...maybe this is our first buy as the lamp came by exchanging coupons.

• On the 9th Tarun and I took ma to the hospital as she had a catch in her back. We then collected the albums and were home in time for lunch with aunty before she left for Dubai. It is then that it hit me that I was going to be managing a home with Tarun...

The weeks after have had lots of things happening...and it is already over 2 months. Time flies...and I hope to capture as much as possible by writing about it...and now off to the kitchen I go...to make some puliyogre for dinner.

Where Is The Romance?

I wonder sometimes - where is the romance today? You must think it is weird that a week away from my D-Day I should be the one to believe in romance. But sadly I don’t. So then what about love? Well, I believe in love…I think love has survived these times. As the D-day inched closer, I always thought that the romance that once existed would somehow reappear. I remember when we started dating he was so romantic. 

He was the first to tell me the 3 words…and repeat it a million times after…every time assuring me that I could take my time to reciprocate. And I did just that and basked in all the attention. He told me how I was ‘The One’...how I was so woman and just how well we fit. I know we were younger then…it was all new…and we were in love. But the love still exists…the love way more than then. He has been my strength in many situations and I hope I have been the same in his life. But then as I wait for him to call and tell me sweet nothings…or plan a romantic date…or at least spend time with me over the weekend…or try not to meet me for 2 hours in a whole week…I am forced to believe that somewhere down the 3 years the romance ceased to exist. These times are hard to survive…sadly work seems to take most part of our week and many times his weekends as well. Distances are larger…ambitions are higher…and the journey is more a struggle which just manages time for companionship and a little love…but the romance has not survived this journey.

Every time he cancels on me…or changes the plan (which really pisses me off) I am expected to understand, be supportive and just relax. So I do give it a shot…but don’t last more than 2 weeks. He says there is no expiry date for being there for him…and that it is not a barter system that at the end of it I will get something. I wonder how his friends, family, colleagues and everyone else except me would have reacted if they had been stood up so many times and could he have asked them to just be there for him without any expectations without their patience wearing out? This is probably a question for which I will never get an answer…but I still wonder… Every time I complain or as he would put it nag, he tells me that this is the way of life today…that it is impractical for him to plan something after 9 in the night…that I am being immature…and that no one has such a rocking life. And I don’t see how what I am doing is wrong…what is wrong in being impractical, immature and dreaming of a rocking life at times? 

Romance is the result of these ways which most people scorn at… The popular belief is that romance is a girl thing…that begin romantic makes a man more of a wuss, less macho and more hen-pecked. But as we put up with so many of your guy things I think men should entertain some girl things as well and trust me there is a lot of gaining for the men too! To put it simply, men need to realize that all the romance in the first 3 months of a relationship is what makes the woman want to be with them…and if occasionally romance could sneak up the walk down memory lane could be very rewarding!

When Terror Strikes We Need to Strike Back

The attacks in Mumbai on 26th November need no introduction. They made front page news all across the globe...unlike the many many other terror attacks India has more than often been a victim to. Indians have died on trains, in markets, while watching movies, in hospitals, on the road and pretty much any place imaginable. 26th of November was not the first time Indians were attacked, or our security was questioned. Yet, there was something different this time. I think it was the magnitude of the attack...and like on a show Simi said the audacity of the terrorists...the targets chosen...it was not just the aam junta this time. 

Indians have for a change reacted strongly about this event...and questioned their leaders...leaders who said aise bade sheharon mein aise choti baatein hoti hain...leaders who make the visit to the attack sites look like an excursion with an actor son and his director friend tagging along...leaders who at every chance try to divide us based on caste, religion and region...leaders who have security every step of their life...and this security extends to their family as well...leaders who have never been able to unite to fight terrorism... Don't pay your taxes some said...vote for better leaders others said...stay out of this we will deal with it many said...unite at least now Indians asked... 

It has been over a week...and what has happened? Many peace marches have been held in cities across India...something I think became a fad after RDB. Ministers have resigned and been replaced (there are still quarrels with other ministers not happy with the replacements). Speculation of the operations conducted and India's way ahead have been discussed on many news channels by different panelists like Mahesh Bhatt...and basically anyone who is willing to talk. India has blamed terror groups in Pakistan and Pakistan has asked India to get over their Pakistan Obsession. Ms. Rice has flown down to India and Pakistan to help us sort issues. And hopefully today after 60 years of independence and maybe at least 2 decades of terror attacks...most of which are still unsolved with criminals gallivanting all over the world...India has decided to come with an agency like the FBI. Life goes on...hopefully in the direction to achieve something concrete...and to punish people who were involved in terror attacks in India. But when I think about those 3 horrifying days...of all the helpless families and friends of the even more helpless people stuck in the 2 hotels...I wonder...so much loss...for what? This is a war for a cause we don't understand. 

We'd like to believe it is a Muslim thing...but many Muslims don't understand the cause either. And I don't understand what was achieved at the end of this... Couples who went for a quiet dinner at some of the best restaurants in the world lost their spouses...or left their children orphaned...as the GM of Taj helped his guests...his wife must have looked helplessly as she saw the fire engulf her home and knew she would not be able to save her children...and one of the sadder stories of a Muslim home destroyed with all the bread winners dying at the CST... The pathos of these events definitely scarred me...and terrified many Indians. Indians feel unsafe and are scared for the lives of their loved ones. 

The hijack threats that came in within a week of the Mumbai attacks frightened Indians all the more. I believe there were sms's in Bangalore saying malls have received terror attack threats. Many friends of mine think it is better to be safe. So why use domestic flights...why go to malls...why watch movies? There are discussions of war with Pakistan...taking out the terror camps where these men were trained. But I think the most important thing when striking back is to not be afraid...is to not let these groups to make us stop living our lives. We need to be stronger...we need to stop panicking...we need to stop thriving on fear... This attack has to bring more progressive change...and fear is regressive...that is the last thing India wants today. Finally I salute all those brave men who fought the terrorists...and not just the ones from the police or NSG...even the ones trapped, held as hostages...survived or lost their lives. They are all heroes...

Six Months To Six Weeks

I think my post in June this year spoke about me having 6 months to go before D-Day. Well, now I have 6 weeks...and I am trying to figure how that feels... And as I figure that...I keep going through the last 3 years with him in my head...the first time we spoke...hanging out together - initially in a group and then just the two of us...the whole 'I like him, but what the hell is he thinking?' phase... 

As I ponder, I remember some moments which had slipped my mind over the last 3 years... Like there was that time when a bunch of us were planning to go out to Kiva...and I had asked him to join us...but well he had plans. I remember that I was a wee bit disappointed...something that I chose to ignore then. 

Anyways we carried on with your plans and landed at Kiva...only to find the place filled with people and no tables for us. After a lot of discussion we decided to head to Thousand Oaks...now I had no idea his plans were at Thousand Oaks... I still remember how delighted I was to see him...think it was his friend's birthday and he sneaked me a piece of chocolate cake...hehehe! He also offered me a ride home...and I just wanted to say yes...but well I didn't want to be rude to the guy who had driven us there in the first place... This is just one of those times... 

Today to think of those days and now...makes me go - Wow! We have come a long way...from all the blushing and gushing to the arguments and the adjustments...from me telling him to plan a surprise for our anniversary to him planning an evening at the Taj with lilies and cake...